what was, has been, and probably will be.........1

this is a sneak peak of how, despite knowing and seeing the love of your life there, you cant say or do anything because fate has something in store for you.

A long time ago when i was just entering my teen hood, i saw a boy. He had the most beautiful smile i have ever seen and besides him was another guy (later came to know was his brother). They were laughing at something or someone (it was a church compound and there were a lot of people).......which pissed me off, still does.

But it was just a simple encounter that left me bothered until i got inside the church. I took a seat behind a young woman whose dressing got me more worked up. why? i was a prideful, know-it-all, super righteous girl at the time. So, i sat down and listened through the sermon ignoring the nagging feeling i had over the woman.

A year after that day, i went to visit my cousin before going back to school. I knew my big brother would be there because he was seeing someone new after months of nursing a broken heart. The strangest part was that my nerves were all over and i kept having flashing images of the girl i sat behind in church a year ago. Guess what, Maria was my brother's new girlfriend. The introductions were a little weird because i thought that i would dislike her (i did for a few days) but she turned out to be the most kind-hearted girl i have met in my lifetime.

That same year, we met again at church but this time, i was meeting her extended family which included the two laughing guys from a year ago (Nick and Ryan). Two things happened; first i shock like a leaf and second, my world turned upside down because i could not hold down the fact that i had a huge crush on Ryan. From a distance, i could not make out his gorgeous features but up-close, well, i could not stop looking. Unfortunately, he did not notice because he was busy introducing his girlfriend. Nick, on the other hand, was very cheerful and eager to chat so i engaged a little.

When Maria suggested we head to their place, i didn't hesitate, i kept telling myself the battle is not lost and the pull was too strong to resist.

Two years later, i was in Campus when Maria came to visit. It was then that i learned that Ryan broke up with his girlfriend and details were devastating. Apparently, Amber (the girlfriend) was secretly seeing someone else without his knowledge. That was not all, there were other men involved which was what broke Ryan. My heart hurt for him but that's not all it did, it yearned to comfort and take away the pain. So, i tagged along and my seductive instincts kicked in ( i know how it sounds but its not what you are thinking)

Our re connection began with me listening to his tale. Although he left a lot of details, i was going to be patient until he was comfortable and that is what i did. Every time we met, i fell deeper and deeper; we would talk for hours on the phone, i would visit him and Nick, we would watch a movie, walk around and just talk. One day, during my usual shopping days, i went to the boys as a surprise but i was met with one. They were going clubbing (not a huge fun and it was my first time). That night everything shifted including my dignity..............to be continued

what happened later

when fate serves you a handsome prince, even your 2-day old ex ceases to exist.

that's what happened to me a few weeks after one of my on and off relationship with (let's call him Sam, in case you are not familiar with who am talking about, check out my previous post)
just so you know, i did not cheat on him. we had already broken up and he was no longer in campus.

i met Liam when he first joined campus and since he lived two doors down with his brother, we couldn't interact much. so, i made it my mission to make simple hello's into longer conversations and a phone number. a few weeks later, we had our first kiss and it was magical (i just happened to remember that it was a moonlit and starry night) he still held his V-card (am no saint) and taking things slow was the firs thing that came to my mind but that only lasted till the following evening. there were no red petals all over or a king size bed.....just a small bed in a small cubicle infested by bedbugs (it was my friends room). anyway, we sealed the deal in a one hot yet sexy marathon and parted ways (i had to go back to a different city for work)

A few weeks down the line and Liam declared his love for me. all this time, no one knew about our relationship because he was a forbidden fruit to his family. we had some ups and downs but the major one came when he completed his studies and moved 12 hours away from (back home)  we parted ways in good terms (it was my suggestion) but he kept in touch and never stopped loving me and neither did i. a year later, i went to see him for a week and we rekindled what we had. By then, several people knew but not his family; i was getting tired and impatient. When Liam realized i was pulling away, he promised to marry me. he wanted a baby and i was more than eager to be part of it; the problem was, he had other plans.

Plans i came to learn about on December 2017. He grew silent, distant, and full of excuses but he never stopped saying 'i love you'

Like a fool, i believed him, shooed away potential life partner and waited for him. He never came, he stopped calling or texting. All this time, Liam was planning a wedding with his family; a wedding that did not include me. As usual, i ignored a certain instinct that's always right and hoped he will come around. he did not and so i did he only thing left on my hands;

I called

He did not pick up. so i texted. he did not reply
eventually, he picked up and confirmed what i had already suspected. he was a married man and i broke again. its now to months down the line, Liam tried to reach out but i shut him up....i have a major heartbreak waiting from the very love of my life (coming soon).....i have to save my energy for that.

A heart can love so many times in so many different ways but when is the one person u love so dearly breaking it, now that's a different story. am ready.