how it came to be....

he promised to love me and to always be with me.....i wasn't ready,
we dated for awhile and that did not get me even closer to being ready,
yes....he wanted commitment but i was only 20 years old, with dreams to fulfill and a world to see.
we broke up a year later, and it was a relief until i missed him terribly and all i wanted was to hear him. so we got back together but it did not last long. i had no idea what came over me because i could see women after him. i was not able to pull out his smile like his friends and that made me sad. so i confronted him and he left me. i begged n begged but he wouldn't listen. he was so mad. i followed him without a care who was watching or listening but he never uttered a word and that broke me into million pieces. he just left me there, devastated, broken, and holding back tears i did not want the world to see.
once i got back in my room, i cried my heart out n promised to never cry again but two weeks down the line he got in touch. like a fool, i was really happy and like a coward, i said no to dating him. so we ended up friends but that did not stop him from pursuing me. three years down the line we just stayed friend. and i dated someone else, i was also still in love with someone else (a story for another day, remind me) but he still kept coming. then it suddenly stopped for a year and out of the blue, he wanted to see me and the foolish me went along with it.
i was ready at the time, i wanted to commit to him. i was very ready that by the time he left that day i knew i had a chance with him. six months of silence proved me all wrong. six months of trying to reach him bore no fruits. i became restless but when he finally picked up my phone, this is all he had to say " am a family man."
he was already married and i had no idea what to say so i just said "congratulations" few months down the line i saw him vow to love and cherish another woman on a wedding TV show.
i broke once more
tears came back
unimaginable pain camped inside me
and the journey to another heartbreak began....coming soon

hope

as the election day gets closer, am hopeful. i got nothing else to say. hope is a promise of a brighter future. i wlcome it with open arms.

peace part 2

hello kenyans
elections are closing in and campaigns are their peak. only you and me know who to vote for. i hope for the love of God and country, we shall bring together a govenment that will help. the closer the day gets, the more butterflies i get. i know am not surpossed to but it can be helped. i will vote and go home, anyone who tries to stop me will tell me whether am there to a spectator or a role model. go home when you vote and vote wisely. i dont have words to convince you otherwise but remember once you vote, your work is done. whoever wins, we all support and move on. time waits for no man.

see you on 8/8

for my fellow bloggers, keep writing your hearts out. someone is always listening.

peace part 1...

hello bloggers
my country Kenya is less than two weeks away from voting our next president. with 44 tribes so far, a majority of us want Kenya moving forward and that  is what we all want. it doesn't matter which tribe one is from; all that everyone should know is that we share one beautiful, gorgeous and generous motherland. we piss her off and she wont be happy. many can agree that we are still paying for 2007 repercussions. i love my motherland and everyone who claims so should vote, go home, and wait for the results. for our rallying leaders, when the race is over remember Kenya is your motherland too, go home and help use common citizens move forward. i vote peace, i vote Kenya.


 that's it friends do something different.

a new dawn

a new dawn is here....its so chilly out here but the rain at night made me sleep like a baby. before sleeping, i try doing something incredible- close my eyes and try to elevate my body or go around the house in spirit form. it never works. usually i wake up to the morning and remember i was trying to be "merlin" along the way i learned concentrate and focus. on top of that, am brave where i wasn't, bold where i was shy, keen where i was careless....etc. i think its a form of meditation and don't fry your brain trying to do magic. it ain't a real thing until you it right. don't worry when you have weird ideas in your head, the outcome might not be what you expect but there is an outcome. oh, i pray too see you another day bloggers.

am back

hellow fellow bloggers.
its been awhile since i last wrote on my blog. i have been busy promoting other blogs while mine holds a last post from a long time ago. hopefully your life has been eventful than mine. i mean, its been boring and successful at the same time. i grew from asking so many whys to learning to live with whatever life throws at me. but i still have an issue, being single is fun until it isn't. does anyone have the same feelings? well darling, you are not alone.