how it came to be....

he promised to love me and to always be with me.....i wasn't ready,
we dated for awhile and that did not get me even closer to being ready,
yes....he wanted commitment but i was only 20 years old, with dreams to fulfill and a world to see.
we broke up a year later, and it was a relief until i missed him terribly and all i wanted was to hear him. so we got back together but it did not last long. i had no idea what came over me because i could see women after him. i was not able to pull out his smile like his friends and that made me sad. so i confronted him and he left me. i begged n begged but he wouldn't listen. he was so mad. i followed him without a care who was watching or listening but he never uttered a word and that broke me into million pieces. he just left me there, devastated, broken, and holding back tears i did not want the world to see.
once i got back in my room, i cried my heart out n promised to never cry again but two weeks down the line he got in touch. like a fool, i was really happy and like a coward, i said no to dating him. so we ended up friends but that did not stop him from pursuing me. three years down the line we just stayed friend. and i dated someone else, i was also still in love with someone else (a story for another day, remind me) but he still kept coming. then it suddenly stopped for a year and out of the blue, he wanted to see me and the foolish me went along with it.
i was ready at the time, i wanted to commit to him. i was very ready that by the time he left that day i knew i had a chance with him. six months of silence proved me all wrong. six months of trying to reach him bore no fruits. i became restless but when he finally picked up my phone, this is all he had to say " am a family man."
he was already married and i had no idea what to say so i just said "congratulations" few months down the line i saw him vow to love and cherish another woman on a wedding TV show.
i broke once more
tears came back
unimaginable pain camped inside me
and the journey to another heartbreak began....coming soon