Most of you probably think there was a happy ending here. Well, we shall see. Having one epic moment turned into days, week, and months of no calls, or texts. He got what he wanted and so did I. But the truth was much complicated than that.
First, I did not tell him that i have wanted him for ages. Second, he was already in love with me but did not tell me until my brother was years into marriage with Raf's sister and a second born on the way. Back then, Raf chose to keep quiet and enjoy stolen kisses and moments. So did I.
The worst came when he disappeared on me. no calls or text. So i started dating again. just when i thought i was over him, he appeared out of nowhere. drunk and very much interested in having me. I was confused and utterly mad at him but did not show it. i let him sleep in my room while i sought shelter elsewhere....His sisters.
Here is something I haven't told you. I lived in the same block of rent rooms as his sister. We were friendly and she was not with child back then. So, I went to her and had to tell her about Raf's situation. She was welcoming but what i did not know, is that she knew about us. Apparently, she heard us in one of our marathons (so embarrassing). We talked about it that night and in the morning, Raf tried to make his move but i showed him my boyfriend (he lived there too).
When he left, I never heard from him again until few years later. still single, still interested in me but much more charming towards me. or so i thought.
One day, i was in a depressed mood, at home, and in the dark crying after long hours of contemplating my life. I decided to tell Raf how I felt without leaving anything out. I did. i got to open up to him and he said no. He was gentle about it but it felt like i was drowning. i did not want to feel. I was out of tears and all i wanted was to be anywhere but in this world.
Don't worry, i was not going suicidal. I wanted to go to my safe place where i care about nothing but myself. So, I did. The following morning, I was motivated. I felt like I could own the world and for the next two years, I did. It did not last long until we met again.
I made the first move and what followed was days, weeks, and months of love-making, working together, and living in a world of two love-birds limited by one thing only, the rules of society. We could not continue with the love bubble because the people we trust to support us, gave us one choice, END it.
After talking for so long, we did it. We had to say goodbye and seek other options to save our parent's reputation in the face of society. A society that does not give a rats ass about us. As we speak, Raf is living with his girlfriend. Am worried he will lose his gentle touch and charm because he is forced to live with someone he does not love. He made peace with his family but where is his peace?
And I, I am here writing what could probably be the end of everything I have ever wanted. A fairy tale of my own. I have to leave behind something that most people never get to feel: a connection with the person you love, beautiful memories of having a beautiful family with the one you love, and the most gentle touch and understanding man i could ever have. The only man I trust fully in this life.
You see now my dear reader, happy endings exist but not everyone gets to experience it to the end. Some of us fade into something society pushes us into and others brave it out. I have to brave it out and give our parents the happiness they deserve. I cannot have it all but I have enough. See you soonest........Thank you for reading
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